


I smile

by EveryoneLovePiriPiri



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt, busan brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryoneLovePiriPiri/pseuds/EveryoneLovePiriPiri
Summary: Everything in Wonpil's life was going to shit. He just wanted to be happy again...so why was it so hard.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Kim Wonpil
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	1. I Was Beautiful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello 😁,  
> It's been awhile since I've written a story so I've gotten a little rusty. Since I'm on break I thought about giving it a try again. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think about it (critic is appreciated). I wanted to post this a few days before Christmas but then ended up not doing it.

_It's over_ … The day seemed to be bright today. Kites were in the air, children were in the playground screaming in joy. So why wasn’t he happy? Wonpil stared ahead of him at nothing in particular. It felt as if time had stopped and he was the only one there.

He wanted to scream, cry, and throw things –– but he didn’t. He sat still as people walked by, minding their own business. He had just left from another failed date. He began to think what was wrong with him that made people run away. It happened every time and it made him feel insecure oh himself. He felt mad, confused, but mostly lost. It began to pour, people were running to get under shelter. Wonpil got up and began walking home. His shoulders slumped as he held his face down and allowed the rain to soak him.

Once Wonpil got home, he set his phone on the kitchen island and opened his wine cabinet. He pulled out a bottle and popped the cork off and began drowning his sorrow. His phone on the table rung continuously but he paid it no mind. He wanted to be alone. His friends joked about him being fragile. He usually would ignore the comment but now it stung thinking about it. The pit in his stomach grew and he just wanted the world to swallow him whole.

Wonpil went to his bathroom and stared at his disheveled reflection. Thoughts began to run in his head. _Worthless. Weak. Pathetic._ He slumped to the floor and cried till he couldn’t muster any more tears. He laid down on the cold tile and fell asleep, curling into himself for warmth, while hugging his empty wine bottle.

The next morning, Wonpil woke up to someone yelling his name. His head hurt but he got up and went to check what the commotion was. When he saw it was his best friend, he groaned. He was taller and built, his aura resonating confidence, something Wonpil lacked. 

“What are you doing here Brian?” Wonpil asked as he went to his kitchen to get himself a glass of water.

Brian scoffed. “What the fuck happened to you? Do you even know how many times I called you last night? I thought you were dead or something! Why weren’t you answering my phone? I was about to call the police and–”

“Oh my god calm down. You're making my headache worse.” Wonpil claimed as he massaged his temples. Brian rolled his eyes and pointed his finger at Wonpil as he sat on the kitchen island.

“This is nothing compared to the stress you put me through by not answering my– hey,” Brian pulled Wonpil’s face towards him, “Did you cry?” Wonpil pulled away, remembering what happened yesterday.

“What happened?” Brain questioned, concerned. Wonpil got off and began walking away. Brian held his arm but Wonpil pulled away.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Just leave me alone.” Wonpil began walking away starting to feel new hot tears about to burst any second.

“Wonpil, I’m your best friend, you know you can tell me, right?” Brian reasoned as he followed Wonpil into his bedroom. Wonpil halted and Brian stopped in his tracks too.

“My date left me...again.” Wonpil turned around and he burst out crying. Brian quickly hugged him and tried to help him to calm down. Brian patted his back and told him what any good friend would do and said, “You’ll find someone better, it’s gonna be okay.”

"Am I not good enough? What do I lack? Tell me so I can fix it! What did I do wrong?"

After awhile, Wonpil pulled away and Brian looked at him sadly. Wonpil saw the look and this was exactly what he did not want, people pitying him. "Pil you're perfect. You did nothing wrong. Those people are idiots who can't see your good heart." 

Wonpil calmed his emotions down and stared at Brian, “You should go now, I want to be alone right now.” Brian contemplated but Wonpil pushed him out and immediately closed the door before he could even say anything. He sighed and left. Wonpil curled inside his blankets and consoled himself. _Everything will get better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts about the first chapter 😁


	2. Not Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Please be aware this chapter contains sensitive topics (ex. depression and sucide)
> 
> Hello, I know seeing a sad Wonpil is heart breaking but I promise it'll get better for them all. Anything that is italicized are thoughts the character is thinking.

Nothing was fine. Five months had passed and nothing was fine. It was progressively getting worse. There were voices in his head constantly degrading him. Wonpil couldn’t stop the thoughts no matter what. He was medicated antidepressants to help suppress the voices but he still wasn’t himself. He slacked off at work and distanced himself from his friends.

 _They don’t need you._ Wonpil rejected their offer to hang out and just wanted to be alone. His friends are brave and confident. He’s shy and nothing like his friends. _Nuisance._

His friends began to worry. They took turns to check up on him everyday just to see how he was doing. _They think your fragile._ Wonpil told himself not to listen to the lies the voice said but slowly it became the truth. The voice won.

Christmas was coming soon and Wonpil’s depression was getting worse. He was sitting on his sofa while the tv was running. He paid it no mind and stared at the ceiling. The food his friend, Jae, had gotten him in the morning long forgotten at the kitchen table. He turned the tv off and went to his room. Wonpil sat on his bed, without turning his lights on, his thoughts started to consume his head. He was tired, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. The voice had gotten worse, the medications effects diminishing.

Only one thought consumed his head, telling him the same thing over and over again. _End it._ He held his head in his hands. There was a deep pit in his stomach. He felt like throwing up. His head spun and his throat tightened He had forgotten what happiness felt like, he just wanted to go one day without faking a smile to reassure others he was fine. But who was he kidding, he was trying to fool himself too, smiling in the mirror, trying to convince himself he is happy. _End it._

The voice in his head wouldn’t stop. It felt unbearable. His phone rang, he looked at his dresser and saw Brian was calling him. He declined the call, everything was becoming unbearable. The voice wouldn’t stop. _End it_. He dashed to his bathroom and opened his medicine cabinet before opening his sleeping pills. He looked at his reflection once before he swallowed all of the pills. He waited… the voice was finally gone. 

Wonpil slid down the bathroom wall and stayed still till the euphoria hit. He smiled, he hadn’t felt so free in his life. Slowly, but surely, his eyes were closing. He allowed it, feeling at bliss. _It’s finally over._ He smiled as a tear escaped his eye before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's very short so I will be double updating.


	3. Nobody Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on its happy times I promise :)

Brian was getting anxious as time went by. He had been calling Wonpil for half an hour and no one had seen him since Jae went over and gave him food. Brian tried calling him again but to no avail. So he got in his car and drove to his apartment to check up on him. Brian knew about Wonpil’s deteriorating health and knew that him and his friends were the only people Wonpil had.

Instead of taking the elevator Brian took the stairs, skipping every other step. Once he made it to the sixth floor, he took out his spare key and was met with silence. He yelled out Wonpil’s name but no answer. He looked around, calling his phone. He heard it ring in Wonpil’s bedroom and walked in to see no one there. He picked it up and saw that their other friends had called Wonpil not to long ago too.

As he walked back out he saw the bathroom door ajar. He opened it to see Wonpil on the floor with an empty pill bottle in his hand. _This can’t be happening._ “Wonpil!” Brian scurried on the floor and shook him. Brian checked to see his pulse. _He’s alive!_ He rushed to dial the urgent care medical center for an ambulance and told them whatever he could. Never in his life would he have guessed his best friend to overdose. He always seemed fine and smiling, but looks could be deceiving and masking what someone is truly feeling.

The paramedics rushed in and soon enough they were in front of the hospital with a triage nurse on standby. She quickly assessed his condition and yelled out, “Level one patient, we need to assist him now!” Brian looked dazed as everything happened so fast. They began moving him and he kept following till one of the nurses wouldn’t let him anymore. He sat down on a bench as he waited.

Brian sat there silently as time went by slowly. His phone rang and he picked it up. “Yo~ have you talked to Wonpil, I’ve been trying for awhile but he hasn’t picked up. Me, Dowoon, and Sungjin have been trying to call him to see what his favorite cake flavor is, but the kid won’t pick up!” Brian could hear in the backgrounded what seemed to be Sungjin and Dowoon arguing about something irrelevant.

Brian sniffled. “Jae, he’s uh–” Brian voice choked up, “He’s in the ER right now.” There was a pause on the line.

“What?” Jae let out a nervous laugh, “What do you mean he’s in the ER.”

“He overdosed.” Brian stated as new tears blurred his vision.

“H-hey, he’s gonna be okay. We know how strong he is, I’m sure he’ll be okay.” Jae’s said trying to convince Brian but also assuring himself. Sungjin quickly butted in and asked for the hospital address and told Brian they will get there as soon as possible.

Soon enough the others had arrived at the hospital too. Sungjin hugged Brian, knowing all too well how terrified his friend must be witnessing one of their own in such a condition. He patted his back before letting go.

“Have they informed you about Wonpil?” Sungjin asked cautiously as to not disturb the already on-edge mood. Brian shook his head. They all sat down and waited patiently.

After three hours, a nurse came out. “His condition is now sustained but we still need to keep him here for observation.” They let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding.

“How is he right now?” Jae asked.

“He is unconscious."

“Can we see him?” Dowoon asked.

“I would advise you come tomorrow. He needs rest right now.” They were all reluctant but obliged.

They went to Jae’s house and stayed the night, not wanting to be alone after what had happened. They were all shaken up a bit. 

"Lets sleep in the living room... together." Jae stated. He didn't want to be in his room himself. So they all ended up in shelving room with Jae and Sungjin occupying the two sofas and Brian and Dowoon on the floor with lots of blankets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys let me know your thoughts on todays chapter! I love reading comments and seeing your guys opinion about it :D


	4. Lean on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was enjoying my time with the family. Happy New Years to everyone!!! Also super happy that the guys (except Sungjin) got instagram!!! I'm happy they feel comfortable to go back on social media and I hope nothing ruins that. I hope you guys had a good NYE and I hope you enjoy todays update :)

The next morning they got up early and drove to the hospital silently. They walked into Wonpil’s room to find him awake and talking to a nurse. The nurse and Wonpil looked up and saw the guys. The nurse left the room to give them privacy. The guys surrounded his bed and gave him a smile. Wonpil felt weird in the situation, like a spotlight was on him. 

“Hey~.” Jae said quietly. Wonpil let out a small smile. 

“Hey.”

“You feeling better?” Sungjin said as he opened the curtains to let some light in.

“Uh yeah, much better. Just a small headache. Nothing too major.” The air was starting to become suffocating. It felt weird to be talking so casually after he... Brian took his hand into his own. “Wonpil, why’d you do it?” Brian stated. “We thought you were fine. What was bothering you?” Wonpil looked down. They waited patiently.

“I just wanted the voice to stop. It tormented me every.single.day… I just wanted to be happy again.” Wonpil burst out crying and covered his face. They embraced him and cried along. They were all relieved they still had Wonpil with them.

* * *

After a few days Wonpil was discharged. They all went over and slept at his apartment for the first week. It was nice. It felt like they were back in college all over again. And Wonpil was grateful for having them there with him in the apartment afraid the voice would come back. 

As time went by he slowly began to open up. Wonpil also quit his job, wanting to get a fresh start. Though he was still struggling to accept himself for who he was, he has made a lot of progress throughout his journey which makes him proud of himself. 

Tonight, they were having a movie night, watching Christmas movies, at Wonpil’s place. Brian had come in early and helped to set up for their movie night. Since Christmas was in two weeks Brian was trying to plan out a vacation for all of them. “Come on man, it’ll be fun. We’ll be one with nature.” Brian slung his arm around Wonpil. Wonpil detached Brian’s arm off of him and began walking to the kitchen to brew some tea.

“No thanks, I already have a lot of stuff to do.” Brian rolled his eyes and stood by the kitchen island.

“Oh yeah, tell me one thing you’re so busy doing.” Wonpil opened his mouth to protest but then kept silent. Brian smirked. “That's what I thought.”

“But you want to go on the week of Christmas, what about your family? You're gonna ditch spending Christmas with your family for your friends. Wow~ what a bad son you are.” Wonpil shook his head in disappointment.

Brian rolled his eyes, “Oh please, we all know that they wouldn’t care. They're too busy with their lives and I am too. Plus I haven’t spent Christmas with them since I was 18. Besides a friends trip is way overdue.”

Wonpil sipped on his tea. “How do you know for sure the guys will say okay?”

“Jae’s family literally lives on the other side of the country and we know he will choose a friends vacation over going to see his family. And Sungjin and Dowoon are brothers so literally they would just celebrate it together. Come on~, it’ll be fun.”

Wonpil huffed, “But why camping at this time. It’s gonna be way too cold.”

Right then the doorbell rings, “I’m here~, open up!” Brian rolled his eyes and went to go open the door.

“Jae, how many times have I told you this is a quiet building so you need to control your volume.” Jae mimicked his actions and walked past him. Brian sighs and shakes his head, closing the door quickly.

“Yo~ Wonpil wat’ up!” Jae screamed.

Wonpil comes out of the kitchen and sighs, “Hey.” Jae sat down and flipped through the channels before he stopped on a survival show and began watching it.

“When are Sungjin and Dowoon coming?” Wonpil sat down beside him and sipped on his tea.

“They said they’ll be here any minute.” Jae nonchalantly replied. Brian flopped onto the sofa and stared at Jae. Jae eyed him before looking at Brian.

“What?”

“Wanna go on a friend's camping trip on Christmas week?”

“Sure.” Wonpil looked at Jae in disbelief.

“What do you mean sure, on the week of Christmas you want to go camping?” Jae shrugged his shoulders,

“Its not like I have anything better to do.”

“Um I know. Spend Christmas with your family!” Wonpil exclaimed.

“Naw~ thats too much effort.”

“I honestly can’t believe you…”

Brian looked at Wonpil and smirked, “I told you.” Wonpil flipped him off, sipped his tea, and focused his attention back on the tv.

Soon enough Dowoon and Sungjin made it. Brian asked them and they were down to go. Wonpil looked at all his friends and shook his head.

“Come on Wonpil, you're the only one.” Brian pleaded and tried to make a puppy face to help convince Wonpil.

Wonpil sighed, “Fine.” The other four rejoiced and screamed. But immediately stopped when they heard banging on the other side of the wall. They all went quiet and Wonpil shook his head.

“I swear I’m gonna be kicked out because of your guys stupidity.”


	5. Better Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful handsome people 😁! It's another double update since I didn't upload yesterday! I hope your liking the story so far! I hope you enjoy this update!

As they had made it to their camping site, everyone got out and stretched their limbs from the long ride. “Oh my god, we finally made it! Smell the air. It's so fresh.” Brian exclaims.

“I don’t know what you’re smelling, but it smells like shit.” Wonpil stated as he tried to use Febreze, hoping it would make a difference. Jae burst out laughing at Wonpil’s remark. He held his stomach, tears rolling out of his eyes, “I’m gonna pee my pants!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, its nature, it's obviously not gonna smell like cupcakes and lemons.” Sungjin stated while getting their stuff out of the car with Dowoons help. “Now if your done talking about the air help us you little shit-heads.”

They soon were building the two tents and were getting ready to set a fire. “Okay, two people need to bring wood, two people can cook, and I’m gonna go get whatever we need from the store.”

“Wait a minute…” Jae squinted his eyes, suspicious of Sungjin, “Why do you get to get the easy job-” Before Jae could say anymore, Brian flailed his arms and shouted, “I’m picking firewood! I called it!”

“Me too!” Wonpil exclaimed.

“No fair, I wanted to pick firewood!” Dowoon wailed. Jae tried to speak over them but the three were bickering loudly. He did the only thing left to do, scream.

“AHHHHHHH!” Startled by the scream, they quieted down and looked at Jae like he had officially gone crazy. “Now that I have your attention,” Jae said, as if he wasn’t screaming like a maniac a few seconds ago, “WHY ISN’T ANYONE MENTIONING HOW Sungjin GAVE HIMSELF THE EASY JOB!” Jae saw their faces lit up as if something had just clicked to them. Jae huffed in frustration and held his nose bridge. _I can’t believe I’m friends with idiots._

“Yeah, how is that fair!” Brian faced Sungjin but he looked away.

“How we gonna pick?” Dowoon asked.

“Alright there is only one way to do this fairly. Rock, paper, scissors.” Jae reasoned with a stern look on his face.

“I mean… he has a point” Brian shrugged his shoulders. In the end, Sungjin still got the easy job, and Wonpil and Brian got to be wood carriers, which ended with Jae and Dowoon being the chefs.

They were walking around picking up branches. Brian got bored and had a bright idea to tell a scary story. “There were two friends who were in the forest, just like us. As they were walking, they heard a noise." Brian went closer to Wonpil's ear as stealthly as he could, "It went like WHACK!”

Wonpil got startled and hit Brian's arm with a branch. “Quit messing around idiot. I don’t want to be here longer than I have to. This is so-” They heard something rustle in the bushes behind them. They looked at each other, waiting to hear the sound again. It didn’t come.

Brian waved it off, “It was probably just the trees.”

“This is why you should’ve never started saying scary shit when we are literally in the same situation. If there really was something though, I’m running and leaving you behind.”

“Wow~, what a bad friend you are.” Brian shook his head, pretending to be hurt. Wonpil rolled his eyes and began picking branches. They heard the rustle again, coming closer this time, they froze.

“What should we do?” Wonpil whisper screams.

“On my count we run. 1… 2…” Before Brian could say three, they saw the bushes right in front of them rustle and Wonpil ran screaming; never looking back. Brian froze and his eyes widen as he comes face to face with the thing. _I can’t believe this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm evil for being a tease and leaving it at a cliffhanger, but, what do you think it could be? Let me know your thoughts on today's chapter 😁


	6. Hurt Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful and handsome people, how are you doing today! Todays chapter is super heart warming so I hope you like it. Also, the next chapter might not come out tomorrow because I'm still working on it but I will try my best. We are getting some youngpil in the next chapter 😊!!

Wonpil ran straight into their campsite with Brian running a few steps behind him. Jae and Dowoon witnessing their condition snickered.

“What happened to you guys?” Dowoon said as he raised a brow.

After calming down, Brian said, “He left me behind! And I even tried screaming his name to slow down but he just kept running” Brian pointed his finger at Wonpil who was leisurely drinking water, “I thought you were joking but you actually ditched me.”

“Well… I told you I was gonna so…” Slowly Wonpil’s voice was inaudible. He looked down a bit embarrassed and guilty.

Jae and Dowoon just laughed. “Tell us what happen!” Dowoon wanted to know what was getting them to run that badly.

“We heard something but not once, but multiple times and so we were gonna run on the count of three but he ditched me! Before I could start running after him, I saw it.” Jae and Dowoon pulled in closer ecstatic to find out what it was. “It was a… SQUIRREL!”

“Lame.” Jae commented before starting the fire.

“Well since you made it alive and got the fire wood let's eat and forget this.” Dowoon said before he went to help Jae.

“Good idea.” Wonpil dashed away to help with setting up the table.

They had just finished eating and were resting around the bonfire. “Oh before we go to sleep let's go around and say something nice to the person sitting beside you.” Brian said.

“I’ll go first.” Wonpil raised his hand and turned to look at Dowoon, “Dowoon, you are our mood maker and you listen to all of our problems. So I’m really thankful for that.” Dowoon smiled and gave Wonpil a hug.

“Sungjin, you're a great brother…” They waited for Dowoon to say more to Sungjin but they were met with silence.

“That's it?” Jae asked. Dowoon nodded.

Jae shook his head. “Wow, that is just straight up cruel.”

“I don’t want to get mushy.” Dowoon complained and looked away. Sungjin laughed.

“I’ll go.” Sungjin said, “Jae, you are very tall and… yeah thats all I got.”

“Both brothers suck at giving compliments.” Wonpil snickered.

“Anyway, ” Jae rolled his eyes, “My turn. Brian you are the mom of the group. You take care of us whenever we are sad or drunk or even happy. And I know I can get handful so thanks for being there when I needed it. And THAT is how you give compliments.” He clapped for himself and the rest laughed at his antics.

Brian shushed everyone down and looked directly at Wonpil. “Wonpil, you are the strongest, most kindest person I know. Everyone has their own pace to heal and get better. And we will always be there for you to give you motivation, encouragement, and hugs.” Wonpil smiled. He smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. He was… happy.

“Group hug!” Dowoon screamed. They huddled and squeezed each other. He felt thankful for having friends who cared for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about todays chapter :)


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